Focus on the Right Things

Ever been in a situation where you are wondering why something hasn’t happened for you yet and the frustrations are mounting? Why haven’t I gotten that new job or promotion? Why haven’t I met the love of my life? Why isn’t money flowing in? Why do I seem to have shit luck?

Not only are you attracting in the negativity, but you also aren’t even putting out to the universe that you are ready for the things you haven’t received yet. The more negative attention you put to something the further out you push it from you.

Tonight, I was in the airport sitting at a bar having dinner and began speaking with a few people around me. There were two men to my right and a woman to my left. I happened to get to the airport almost three hours before my flight and I had some time to relax and ponder all that I have learned during my meetings over the past few days. The man next to me and I started chatting about business travel, where we were from and eventually the conversation evolved into parenting. The man next to us joined in the conversation and eventually there were four of us chit chatting.

As we were chatting I picked up on some of the characteristics of the men around me and noticed how one of the men was speaking of himself and his life. This man eventually shared with the attractive woman next to me that he was single, hasn’t met anyone and how hard it is. Then shared a photo of a fortune he had received a few weeks back. It read “You will have a romantic encounter soon.” He then cracked a joke “Well when will that be? It’s been a month! HaHaHa.”

After listening to this gentlemen for the past hour, I piped up and said: “You aren’t ready for that.” He was shocked to hear me say that and said: “Huh?, I am ready it’s been four years since my divorce.” I replied and explained while that may be true but that doesn’t mean he’s ready and based on the things he was talking about it was obvious he was a dedicated father and son but needed to think about himself and what he truly wanted. He seemed shocked but did pause and say “well maybe… I guess I agree with you about 80%.” I went on to explain that it’s admirable that he cares so much for the people around him but that he needed to take some time and work on himself and think about his wants and desires.

The main reason I added my two cents to this situation was this guy was having a pity party on how he hadn’t met anyone and it was obvious he didn’t realize that his pity party was what was halting him from meeting someone. He had some blocks. He said admittedly that he would not move for a woman. He also said that “He has a weird relationship with his ex-wife’s parents, that they invite him over for dinner and they sometimes watch his kids when he travels.” My reply to that was “It’s only weird if you call it and make it weird. That’s your normal and it’s ok. Your children are lucky.”

At the end of the conversation, the man shook my hand and walked away to get to his flight. He was appreciative of what I brought to his attention. He seemed to have a sense of relief when he left, he was more aware of what he had been missing. He was blocking new things from coming to him because he was so focused on what he was missing and how “hard” it was. It was only hard because he kept telling himself that.

All too often when things aren’t working the way we have pictured in our mind we push them out further because we are so focused on why they haven’t happened yet. We need to shift this focus to the positive, What is working for us? What makes us happy? What is the result we are looking for? What does that result feel like? By shifting from why not to what is great, begins the attraction process. We are in charge of our emotions and can make such a difference in our own lives by being positive.

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